John invited his father over for dinner. During the meal, his father couldn’t help noticing how handsome John’s roommate, Dave, was. He had long been suspicious of Johns’ sexual orientation and this only made him more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, he started to wonder if there was more between John and Dave than met the eye.
Reading his dad’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, I am not homosexual. Dave and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Dave came to John and said, “ever since your dad came to dinner, I can’t find that fucking gravy ladle. i think your old man took it.”
John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write him a letter just to be sure.” So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Dad, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”
Several days later, John received a letter from his father which read: “Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Dave, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Dave. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Dad”
at first when Dave realizes he likes his older brother for serious, he’d be less worried about bro liking him back and more concerned about bro being the biggest douchebag boyfriend to exist ever
considering he’s seen the girls (and guys) that bro has brought home and seen them leaving as crying messes and bro just casually looking on without any real concern
so he’s honest to god super surprised when they pick up some semblance of a relationship and bro is… nice?
like caring and gentle and kind of the biggest sap he’s ever met and he’s disbelieving that bro could actually like him back this much and when he gets the confidence to bring it up Bro is just like super casual and easy with his words,
“Well you’re my little brother, I care about you more than anybody else I’ve ever met. ‘Course I’m going to treat you like it.”
And Dave just turns really red and burrows his face against bros shirt in embarrassment and Bro just holds him anyways but sits there and frets over whether or not he’s said the wrong thing (he hasn’t Dave’s just emotional)
